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Book Review: Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes

Despite absolutely loving rope bondage I really have only owned one bondage book before now, The Erotic Bondage Handbook, which isn’t exactly for beginners. It has great information within it, but assumes you know knots and ties already, unlike Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes. Two Knotty Boys is a rope bondage instruction manual that is wonderful for beginners because it not only explains how to do different knots which you may or may not already know, and 37 different ties, but it also has pictures with captions detailing each knot and tie so that you can follow along easily.

I had absolutely no trouble in following the step-by-step instructions in Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes. It is extremely helpful for the visual learner, since it’s easy to duplicate what you see in the images.

The book is separated into six basic sections: Introduction, The Knots, Basic Bondage, Decorative Bondage, Dominance Bondage, and Sex Bondage. The introduction gives you some basic ideas about rope bondage safety and different types of rope so that you are fully aware of the tools you need and how to be safe before engaging in the techniques described in the later sections.

The Knots goes over a number of basic knots and weaves as well as more complex ones like the trinity (celtic) knot. I thought I would have trouble with some of them, but most of them were easy to duplicate on the first or second try due to the picture guides.

Basic Bondage includes a few basic restraints, a rope spreader bar (they call “basic wrap”), rope shackle, anke wrap, a harness, and a gorgeous “dragonfly sleeve” which is kind of like rope armbinders (though prettier). They are all, pretty much, exactly as it says: basic. These are ties that don’t really require huge amounts of experience or talent to pull off, they are simple and easy to follow, as is evidenced by the basic wrap I put on Onyx (see picture). However, just because they are basic doesn’t mean they are not pretty on the eye or useful.

Basic Wrap - Rope Spreader Bar

Decorative Bondage is, well, filled with exactly that: bondage that is more for show than for functionality. It includes a corset, gauntlets (on the model on the front of the book), bra, panties, “good luck knot” harness (which is based around the “good luck knot” which is a five-sided knot–it is also on the model on the front of the book), and a bodysuit. Each compliments the wearer well, and while they are slightly more difficult than the basic bondage section they are also fairly easy once you get the knot techniques down. I made the panty which consists of a trinity knot (the celtic knot I mentioned earlier) and snake weave. It was very easy to make once I had the knot and weave down.

Dominance Bondage is more the type of bondage that we think of when wanting to tie someone up. It’s functional bondage that’s more intricate than the basic bondage but that can turn our willing victims into helpless slaves (or subs or bottoms as the case may be). It consists of three harnesses that don’t just decorate the body they also capture the wrists behind the back or neck, a hogtie, a bit gag, a bridle, and a “rope cage” which traps the body in a sort of rope bodysuit.

Sex Bondage is, well, exactly that. While there is a bit of overlap in Dominance Bondage and Sex Bondage, as much of Dominance Bondage could be used during sex, Sex Bondage focuses on affixing items to the rope wearer. It has a table top tie, two chair ties (kneeling facing the back of the chair, and sitting in the chair), and a rope strap-on harness. Each of these leave the wearer ready for sex, either open and unable to escape or with a new sex toy attached to fuck with.

All the ties are easy to do once you practice the knots a bit and with a willing and patient partner. I’ve only done a small amount of the ties that I hope and plan on doing, both on myself and on Onyx, but I feel more knowledgeable after reading through Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes than I was before, and possibly ready to take on the first bondage book I bought after getting these basics down.

The best part about Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes is that it is so accessible and easy beginners with little to no rope technique knowledge can pick it up and start rigging instantly. It makes fancy-looking ties and harnesses seem like a breeze to do. I would imagine it would be a great staple for intermediate or advanced riggers to have around the house as well, as it is much easier to follow than a text-only book.

With the holidays coming up, as well, it can make the perfect gift! You can get it for a loved one (or fuck buddy) as a hint that you would like to be tied up or tie them up. Or, if you know someone interested in rope bondage that hasn’t really given it a try it is the perfect book for them as well! As a gift or for yourself Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes is a wonderful book with useful ties for all.

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Review: Strawberry Cheesecake O’My Lube and G-Spot Dream Massager

Strawberry Cheesecake Flavored O’My Lube

The only time I’ve used flavored lube before was in small sample-packs that came with safer sex kits handed out by the Queer Resource Center three or so years ago, and then I didn’t really end up using them so much as tasting them and accidentally spilling them on top of my dresser. This was before I was really into using lube, and mostly I took them to get the other stuff in the package.

In my latest lube testing I was expecting it to have some sort of taste, and I was a little disappointed, so since I’ve heard good things about O’My I decided I wanted to try O’My Flavored Lubricant in Strawberry Cheesecake, ’cause it sounded extra yummy.

The first thing I did once I got it was take some and rub it between my fingers for a few minutes, testing out the general feel of it, how well it lasted, and if it got sticky. I was pleasantly surprised as my (somewhat limited) experience with water-based lubes is that they tend to get sticky, and I figured a flavored one might just tend to get even more sticky, but it actually held up pretty well, not really getting sticky at all.

The next test was to taste it. Right from the bottle the lube has that strange flavored-lube aftertaste which my tongue relates to artificial sweeteners, but it’s not quite the same taste. Aside from the aftertaste, the lube does indeed have a strawberry taste to it, and close to a cheesecake hint, but mostly just strawberry, which I found to be quite enjoyable.

After actually using the lube, however, the taste changes. Mixed with juices the strange flavored-lube taste goes away simply to reveal a delicious strawberry flavor that I thought tastes pretty delicious. It was amusing to think that I then had a strawberry-flavored cunt.

Upon realizing this I had to think about the actual practical uses of flavored lube. It could be a way to entice a lover to go down on you, should they be wary of the natural taste, or great for using during penetrative sex with a condom to try to minimize the latexy condom-taste should there be some oral action after condom use. Or, as in my case, it can be just campy and fun to use every once in a while to have flavored genitals. I figure it could be great for the analinguist, as well, who doesn’t enjoy the taste of the backdoor.

What I really liked about the lube was the bottle it came in: a pump bottle. I’ve always thought these would be the best kind of bottles for lube to come in, since they’re super easy to get lube out of. A regular shampoo-type top of a lube bottle is fine, but it definitely takes longer and can be irritating in the heat of the moment.

G-Spot Dream Massager

I’m a big fan of G-Spot Vibrators, and so when I saw the G-Spot Dream Massager I was definitely intrigued. It looked sleek and gorgeous, while also being a very affordable price. While it’s not the most exciting name for a toy, more descriptive than fun, luckily it far surpasses the name’s expectations.

The G-Spot Dream Massager is made out of rubber cote, which is non-porous and phthalate-free, a winning combination in my book. It can be easily cleaned with soap and water, and won’t soak up bacteria like porous toys. It’s very smooth, almost silky, to the touch, somewhere between silicone and plastic and simply a delightful texture.

I found it both aesthetically and anatomically pleasing, a nice deep blue for the eye and a wonderful curve for the g-spot. If the controls were different (and it came in a black box instead of a plastic one) I would almost swear it was a LELO toy, and that’s quite a compliment coming from someone who loves LELO as much as I do. It’s gorgeous and feels sleek, smooth, and expensive, attributes I associate with LELO.

The curve of the shaft is just perfect for g-spot stimulation while the bump in the shaft adds wonderful sensation while thrusting. I also found it to be wonderful for clitoral vibration. My perfect clitoral toys have a little curve on them to ease placement while pressing against my clit. I found the G-Spot Dream Massager to fit against my mons just right so that I could easily maneuver it against my clit with just the right pressure. The width of the handle while using it on my clit deminished the vibrator claw-hand that I often get with small clitoral vibrators, while the tip was just the right size.

It takes two AA batteries in the base and tightens up to become a waterproof toy, so you can take it into the shower or bath with you, and I couldn’t resist doing just that! The base is also where the vibration control is, a simple twist-dial bottom that changes speeds from off to low to high quite easily, though it can be a little hard to get a hold of in the heat of the moment, especially with lubed-up fingers should you have them.

I couldn’t help using the G-Spot Dream Massager and Strawberry Cheesecake Lube together, since I knew I would be reviewing them together, and found they worked very well. The lube made the rubber cote material of the massager nice and slippery, not too slippery to still get a hold of, but slippery enough that it had no trouble sliding in.

Onyx and I used these two ways, first with him thrusting the toy into me while I rubbed my clit, and then we switched so that I was using the toy on my clit while he was thrusting in me with his fingers. Both ways were delightful, and it didn’t take me long at all to come once the toy was buzzing away at me.

You can find the G-Spot Dream Massager, O’My Flavored Lubricant, and other sex toys at Vibrator.Com


Review: Good Dyke Porn

From Video “Twelve – Pussy Home Invasion – Part 2” on Good Dyke Porn

Each time I start writing this review of Good Dyke Porn I have to stop and start over, because I keep on not being able to convey just how much I’ve enjoyed this site, and how wonderful I believe this site and these videos are. Not only does every video look like real dykes having real dyke sex (interpret that as you wish) and actually genuinely enjoying themselves, they are doing it in a way that is incredibly enjoyable to watch as well.

The only negative I can say about the site at all is that I found myself getting so turned on by it that I got turned around on it, unsure of how to get back to a page I was on before without the back button or scrolling through multiple pages. Part of that was me forgetting how I got to a page after watching a video, cumming, and being generally brain-addled from that.

Even with the slightly confusing navigation videos aren’t at all difficult to find, just getting back to a specific video or page was difficult for me, and I enjoy the general layout and the way each video is laid out, with the ability to watch or save each clip from each scenario. Another nice thing about the way it’s set up is that you can choose get a general membership to the site or just buy individual clips that pique your interest, which is extremely handy because not everyone is into all the same things, so you can just pick and choose what you want to watch and what you don’t. Of course, the more clips you buy the more you would save by just buying a membership.

I’ve watched a number of different clips and different scenarios, from a familiar pizza boy scenario to a femme circle jerk to a femmed up male-bodied dyke and his lover engaging in play, and many more! Each one was strikingly different but they all were exactly what the title indicates: good (or great) dyke porn. I loved the feeling that I got from watching these, not just the turned on feeling but like I was peeking in on what these dykes normally did with each other, not that I was watching some elaborately staged visual adult entertainment that was trying to be anything other than real dykes getting it on.

I especially loved that everyone looked like they were real people, with all different breast sizes, body types, and skin tones. Like I said, every scenario is different, with a variety of tones, toys, and activities. Some have strap-ons and other toys introduced into the mix, some are just dyke-on-dyke fingers and mouth on cunt action, some have restraints and BDSM or D/s overtones, some have all three. They are all in various locations both outdoors (hot!) and indoors and each one of them is extremely fun to watch.

Some of the videos even have extra ‘behind the scenes’ clips as a seperate clip after the hot action, where you get to talk with those involved in the scene and learn a little more about them. I loved this, almost more than the actual videos (though not quite–I did say almost!) because it just emphasizes that these are real people that you’re watching having sex and having fun. Hearing the participants explain what made them want to do porn and how they were feeling post-scene was a wonderful experience that I really appreciated being able to see.

I also love that there is a male-bodied individual in one of the scenarios. I noticed a post on the forum about this as well (another great feature to have on a sex-positive very women-friendly porn site, the ability to converse with other members about the porn and just about anything). The forum post had the title “Do men belong in dyke porn?” It wasn’t someone complaining, just wanting to know what the others there thought. There were quite a few responses, including this one from Bren Ryder the creator of GDP:

“Women like different things and some may argue that there shouldn’t be a dildo or there shouldn’t be cake or there shouldn’t be young beautiful femme women with perfect bodies or there shouldn’t be a scene where a bio-guy is dressed up like a woman and then gets fucked in the ass.
I say there absolutely should be all of those things and MORE. Anything that serves our queer fantasies. ”

The majority of others on the forum agreed with her and I couldn’t agree with her more. I was extremely surprised and excited to see a femmed-up male-bodied person in dyke porn! If you’ve been reading me for a while you know that I’ve been talking a lot recently about the queer ways in which males and females can interact sexually, so I love having a video on a dyke site to point to exactly that!

I think Good Dyke Porn is an amazing site full of wonderful videos enjoyable to everyone even remotely queer (and in my world that’s just about everyone). If you haven’t, I highly recommend you go check out the site, look at the samples, sign up for the forums, and maybe even buy some clips. You know you want to.

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Review: Boy Butter Lube

I’ll admit, I’m somewhat of a lube novice. I used to think that lube wasn’t necessary because I’ve always tended to get very wet, and usually if lube is needed we just took Jenna Jameson’s advice and used spit to do the job. We first bought a bottle of lube primarily for anal play, some generic water-based lube that did what it should without complications, though it always leaves me stickier than I would like on my own. Since trying lube for the first time, however, I’ve become a bit of a convert.

Over the course of the relationship I’ve noticed my self-lubrication has decreased rather significantly. I used to be wet just about all the time, but now, two and a half years later, it takes more to get me lubed up the right way. I think this has to do with my body realizing that if I kept producing that much juice, coupled with a dryer hotter environment, I would be dehydrated all the time, though I’m sure some of it also has to do with being in a long-term relationship and getting used to the other partner as well.

Long story short, I’ve become a lube convert. Since I have a lot of silicone toys I have stayed away from silicone lube, since together they can cause a strange chemical reaction which will basically ruin your toys for further use. But as I said, the water-based lube we’ve tried has left us both sticky and just generally not good feeling, so I wanted to try something a little different.

So, in looking at the various lube options at SexToy.Com I was intrigued when I came upon the “Churn Style” Boy Butter, which is neither water- nor silicone-based but oil-based. I had heard about Boy Butter years ago at the sex shop in Juneau, a friend pointed it out to me, but at that time I wasn’t converted yet. I decided I should give it a try.

I was a little worried about the fact that Boy Butter does have organic silicone in it, but after quite a bit of research, including Boy Butter’s website and various other reviews of the lube saying it is safe on all sex toys, so I felt safe trying it on my silicone toys, and there was no negative reaction at all.

However, the major problem with Boy Butter for some is that it is oil-based. Oil-based lubes, while less sticky than water-based and completely toy-safe unlike silicone-based, are not latex-safe, which means unless you are using polyurethane condoms or are fluid-bonded with your partner (as Onyx and I are) you really shouldn’t use them. It basically eats away at the latex of condoms or gloves, which is definitely not safe. Though it is wonderful if you are not using latex during sex or for solo play.

Now that all the general info is out of the way, let me tell you about how Boy Butter tastes, smells, and most importantly how it feels, because that’s what you really want to know about, right? Boy Butter has virtually no taste or smell that I could detect whatsoever, but it does leave an oily feeling in your mouth should it end up there which is easily removed by drinking something. It feels damn near how it sounds: silky and smooth like butter; oily but not unpleasant, quite the contrary in fact. I found Boy Butter to be excellent especially in any sort of stroking, either stroking Onyx’s cock, or stroking my clit. Unlike other lubes, it lasts a nice long time and doesn’t get sticky, which makes it perfect for long stroking sessions.

When using it vaginally I found I needed more than I thought I would in order for it to feel right. Boy Butter creates a thin slick coating of oily lube on whatever you put it on, which wasn’t thick enough to be terribly pleasant alone, but once I got my own juices going I felt that the combination of the two was heavenly. However, it does have glycerin in it, and I think water-based lube is better vaginally in general.

Anally, too, Boy Butter was a bit of a dream. It makes me think of crisco in some respects, though not quite as thick, but similar since they are both oil-based. The best part about using Boy Butter anally is that it lasts for a nice long time, so you don’t have to keep reapplying to keep the slickness the same. It’s pretty much the perfect anal lube.

I definitely recommend Boy Butter for just about any sexual activity that doesn’t include latex. It’s odorless and tasteless and lasts for a good long time. Plus, who wouldn’t want to own some “Churn Style” Boy Butter that is “a downright pleasure to spread”? The puns alone are worth it in my book.

Name: Boy Butter

Manufacturer: Boy Butter

Type: Oil-based Lubricant

Compatibility: Works with all toy types. Not latex safe. Body safe.

Glycerin-free: No
Paraben-free: Yes

Organic: No
Vegan: Yes

Flavored: Not exactly

Smell: Hardly any.
Taste: Again, oily, and quite unpleasant
Sticky? Not at all!


Review: The Leather Daddy and the Femme

How do I start a review of a book which speaks to me in such personal and intimate ways, beyond being about sex? How do I begin to describe the ways this book has clicked with me? I guess by answering those questions.

The brilliance of the book is that it delves into theory while still having an element of smut in it, mixing the two together in a true Carol Queen-esque way, because in some ways it’s impossible to seperate the smut from the theory and the theory from the smut. The first book I read of Carol Queen’s was Real Live Nude Girl back nearly four years ago when I was still living in Oregon.

I fell in love with her then, realizing how similar we were, wanting to become like her, to explore my own sexuality and look at it through the lens of theory. She was my inspiration for nearly all that I do now, and all I’m working toward including San Francisco and The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

I found Leather Daddy and the Femme by Carol Queen to be not only wonderful hot get-your-genitals-stirring smut but also an interesting look at gender identities and identity politics. It starts off with the meeting of Miranda/Randy and Jack, then follows their relationship as it progresses, adding in a third partner, Demetrius, and playing with others as well. It is a wonderful queer genderfucking depiction of a gay leather daddy and his boy/femme and the creation of a family.

I found that the identities and relationships within The Leather Daddy and the Femme were some of the closest depictions to what I consider perfect. This wouldn’t be true for everyone, of course, not everyone would have such a personal reaction to the book, dreaming of being in an open and poly-committed relationship or having two different but equal genders that are easy to step into. I found myself identifying in some way with all of the characters and realizing that my dream situation is one very similar to what Jack, Miranda, and Demetrius have, with slight modifications of course.

In some ways the situation in the book is similar to my own, it emphasizes that queerness isn’t restricted to same sex relationships, that there are more ways for males and females to interact sexually and romantically than within a heterosexual model. Something I’ve thought was true for years, but that is difficult for me to describe.

The biggest thing that Leather Daddy and the Femme did for me, I think, was make me think about my own identity, my own desire for a chosen family (as opposed to born family), my desire for multiple lovers, for queer sex, for my own embracing of my multigendered self. It opened me up to looking at my own gender and sexual identity paths, how I got here and where I want to go from here. Oh, and it also made me wet.

I could probably go on for pages about exactly how it touched me, about what part of which characters I would like to inhabit, what I have thought of due to the book, how it has changed my perceptions and desires… but those things are all for posts previous and to come. Instead, I’d love if you have read it for you to give your reaction to the book in the comments.

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Review: Hardcore Harness

This is my second strap-on harness, the first that I bought about four or five years ago, the Terra Firma Harness, and has served me well over the years, but as I always want more than one option for any given activity I decided it was time to get another harness. I looked around for something different, and something a little less basic than the terra firma with a little more show.

I was first attracted to this harness because of the back side of it. Similar to the Corsette Harness the Hardcore Harness laces up the back and emphasizes curves in all the right ways, wide enough to flatter any figure. It also has flame detail on the leather, which makes me think about bikers and leather style and is what gives this harness it’s name. The harness is well-crafted and gorgeous.

My first priority when it comes to choosing a strap-on harness is if it will fit me, there are a number of harnesses that I lust over which are just simply too small for my body. Many harnesses only go up to 42″ or so, which is fine if that fits you, but for those of us of the bigger variety we need to go for something larger. The Hardcore Harness fits up to 54″ hips and smaller, I found it to fit well, with some room to maneuver around in as well.

Only the front and back of the harness are leather, and the front panel of leather can easily be taken off if you prefer to feel the dildo’s base against you. The sides are nylon and have the kind of fasteners I associate with backpacks: ones that you can easily tighten and release by a tug, which makes putting it on and taking it off incredibly easy! It’s also very easy to adjust The Hardcore Harness to exactly where you want it, tightening or loosening even while in the middle of fucking with it.

I’ve used this with both Bandito and Celestial Perfection and it easily held each of them. It comes with an o-ring already which fits toys up to 2″ in diameter, but you could easily exchange the o-ring for a smaller or larger ring to fit your toy perfectly.

It is a two-strap or jock-strap style harness and the front panel rests against the mound so it doesn’t cover up the rest of the vulva at all. I also found The Hardcore Harness to be extremely comfortable as well, honestly I didn’t notice it at all while wearing it, which is a great feeling to have when wearing a harness.

It’s gorgeous and both feminine and masculine at the same time, easy and comfortable to wear, what’s not to love? It was a perfect addition to my toybox, and has helped to re-awaken my love of strap-on sex, so look forward to more harness reviews in the future!


Review: G-plus massager attachment

Little did I know that the Hitachi could be even better! This is my first attachment for the Hitachi Magic Wand (which works for other spring-ball massagers like the Ideal as well), and I absolutely love it. Basically it turns the Hitachi into something similar to the Rock Chick or G-Rock, and who wouldn’t want delicious g-spot and clitoral stimulation at the same time?

The first thing I noticed about the G-plus massager attachment was how flexible it was. This made insertion without lube a little difficult, but the resulting effect was delicious. Because of its flexibility, it’s easy to manipulate it and move it around to exactly where you want it.

The problem with some vibes that get both the g-spot and clitoris is if your anatomy doesn’t line up exactly with the vibe it can do nothing for you, but because of the flexibility, there was no problem with that at all! While playing with it I kept one hand on the Hitachi wand and the other on the bit of the G-plus that was on my clit, and I was able to move the little 2” nub around exactly to where I wanted it. It was perfect!

It has no odor that I noticed, and no taste either, so it isn’t at all intrusive on the senses. The blue is a lot softer than in the picture on here as well. It was very easy to slip on to the ball of my Hitachi, and once it was on I never wanted to take it off!

The insertable length is only 4” but what a four inches that is! While it’s not very thick (about an inch, I’d wager) with the power of the Hitachi behind it that size was all I needed. It’s great if you like something inside while your clit is being hummed. With a little lube (natural or artificial) it’s easy to insert and feels great inside. It’s not for you size queens out there, since it doesn’t fill you up completely, but it gives just the right amount of filling inside combined with the wonderful vibrations directly on the clit.

The only problem that I have with the G plus attachment is that it is made of TPR (Thermo-Plastic Rubber) material, which gives it that ability to be malleable; although it is phthalate-free, it is still more porous than silicone and should be used with a condom if sharing. Using a condom with this toy would be rather difficult, so I would suggest not sharing at all. It is easily cleaned with soap and water, just not able to be disinfected completely enough to be shared.

However, if you are not planning on sharing it, there is really no down-side. The G-plus attachment makes an already wonderful toy perfect!

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Vibrator Review: Waterproof Wabbit Vibe

This was the first insertable vibrator I ever bought (I had a few bullets prior to it). What I wanted was a dual-action rabbit vibe, but I was still in school at the time and needed something inexpensive. The waterproof wabbit vibe was perfect! The original I bought lasted for three years before a spring in the bottom came out due to overuse and overturning (testament to how much I love it). I bought a new wabbit which has lasted for two years so far, and it is still one of my favorite sex toys (even in my now extensive toy collection).

The vibrations of the wabbit are strong while the vibe itself is not very loud, and the bunny ears have always been able to be easily positioned perfectly against my clit. The fluttering of the bunny ears is strong, yet light enough for direct clitoral stimulation, and feels amazing. The insertable length is long enough to add to the stimulation, giving a nice steady vibration inside, and often gives off a pulsing sensation, though there’s no way to control that. Though the wabbit is not terribly long or wide it is average length and width for dual action vibes, and has always fit my purposes wonderfully.

At first I overlooked the fact that it was waterproof… until I got the desire to take a bath and wanted some extra fun. I love baths, but I hadn’t been able to really take any toy with me until I got this vibe, as it was my very first waterproof one as well. It worked wonderfully, and for anyone who loves baths it is definitely a great addition to bath time.

The only negative about this vibe for me is that it is made out of jelly rubber which is extremely porous. However, this is easy to compensate for by using a condom on the vibe whenever in use and making sure to wash it directly after play. I have had many wonderful experiences with this vibe, both alone and with a partner (including one session which resulted in a whopping 40+ orgasms)!

While there are many dual-action vibrators around, I will continue to keep this one in my toy box for years to come, it is inexpensive, durable, strong, waterproof, and knows how to get me off in nearly no time at all.

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